BEATEN & BATTERED…But not BROKEN at the Outlaw 100

Nick Polanowski (MM16057) – BEATEN & BATTERED…But not BROKEN
My alarm sounded off at 4:00am Saturday morning, the day had finally arrived; it was time to tackle my second 100 mile Ultra; The Outlaw 100.
I ate my breakfast as usual before a big race, got dressed, pinned my Bib on and we headed down to the Start/Finish. Everyone was gathered around as there was a runners high in the air. There was the chatter of voices as everyone was ready to get this event started.
The countdown began 5, 4, 3, 2, 1…And we were off. Headlamps light the way as we made our way out of the campground and onto the trail. The speed and agility of the front pack amazed me as they traversed their way through the rocks and obstacles that presented themselves. One mile in I knew I wasn’t going to be keeping up with them as they were rabbits, so I slowed my pace and dropped back with the second group that was taking it a little slower in hopes of just making it to sunrise without injury.
We had a good 4 person group for most of the first 13 mile loop. It was nice running with this pack as everyone kind of had the same objective and goal in mind; make it through what was proving to be more difficult terrain and conditions than anticipated.
I made it back to the Start/Finish at Campground 2 after the first 13 mile loop and spoke with Amy, Eric & our friends Stan/Barb about the first 13 and what I encountered and was expecting the reminder of the race as far as gameplan and pacing went. I told them just how tough the terrain was, the loose rocks everywhere and how there was one place that you actually had to hike down the side of a bluff to get down to the lake. Honestly at this point, I knew this was going to be much harder than I anticipated with the terrain. With this in mind I went out for the second 7 mile loop to get the first 20 miles in.
After returning from the 7 mile loop I felt a little more encouraged as I felt it was the easier of the two loops. While it still had some of the loose rock that the 13 mile loop had, it wasn’t nearly as much and the elevation gain wasn’t as much either. I was actually able to keep my pace and exceed it every now and then through this portion. Heading out for the second 20 mile loop I felt ready to tackle the 13 again.
This time I did just that. The light of day really helped with foot placement and i completed this 13 mile loop 40 minutes faster than the first time. I came in off this loop feeling the best I had in the race thus far. I made this stop a little quicker as I just wanted to get back out to the 7 and get it completed and put 40 miles under my belt. I rolled back in to the Start/Finish around 4pm. I knew I had a few blisters on my left foot, so I sat down and started a little foot care.
Amy popped the blisters, wrapped them and we changed socks and also my shirt. I felt good and was ready to go. I knew the sun would be setting soon so I grabbed my headlamp; (we didn’t want a repeat of Utah, lol). My body was a little tired, but honestly I set off on this 3rd loop feeling pretty good.
Once the sun set, this is where things began to change and go downhill. For whatever reason, I became unsure footed and my pace and time slowed exponentially. This is also where my form began to break down as I ran a little stiffer due to cautious foot placement. But hey that’s ok, because I realized early on this was an “Endurance Event” NOT and “Ultra RUN”, which honestly I was pretty disappointed in. With the ridiculous amount of loose rocks that were like running on a field of softballs and traversing down the side of a bluff, this had become more like a hiking event. So the mental battles began; I started to no longer enjoy the course. I just wanted to RUN!
I made it to Shorteys Brothel, half way through the third loop of 13. At this point I was starting to feel it in my legs, my quads & hammies as they were letting me know what I had already put them through. Amy actually came to meet me here. I stayed here for awhile just resting and talking to the amazing volunteers. At this point I knew the pace and finishing time I was hoping for wasn’t even going to be close, but that was ok, I was now just in it to finish. So I kissed her goodbye and pushed on to finish this loop knowing when I made it back I would have her with me on the next 7 mile loop and that would complete 3 full loops and put me 60 miles in the books.
I arrived back to the Start/Finish around 11pm and I was not doing well. My caution had taken over and now all I could think about was making it through this thing without injury on some VERY weak and tired legs. I didn’t hang out to long this time as I was ready to get back out there with Amy on this third 7 mile loop. She was ready; headlamp on, dressed and full of energy. So…she embarked on this pacing adventure with me that she had waited a year for since Utah in the Salt Flats.
This loop quickly reared its head and showed me just how tired my entire body was. I was kicking and tripping over rocks I had no problems with previously. 5 miles in to the loop I told Amy I had to sit down and rest, yet another first; stopping out on the trail; I was really beginning to feel it now.
I found a rock, sat down and fell asleep sitting up. A head bob jarred me awake. I grabbed my gear, stood up on weak trembling knees and we pushed on. We made it to the road, Ahh yes a gravel road. I still had enough energy and endurance to knock down an 11 & 13min/mile. Then it was back to the brutality and grind of the terrain and that pace quickly dropped back to a 25-26 min/mile once we got back into the rocky terrain. I was back to a wobbly walk as we entered the Campground at the Start/Finish; 60 miles down.
This is when the gravity of 60 grueling miles hit me. I could barely stand or hold my eyes open. I needed to sit and close my eyes. My crew wrapped me up in a blanket and I took a 20 minute nap. I awoken and felt somewhat refreshed. Stan & I prepared to shove off into the night for the start of Loop 4 and undertake the demanding 13 mile loop.
I actually felt ok the first couple miles in, the nap did me good, and then…I hit the elevation and it took all that I had recovered from the nap and zapped me back to ZERO. Several times Stan was behind me pushing me up the hill, I had nothing left to give. This is where the reality of my condition hit me, I still had to traverse down the side of a steep, rocky bluff on weak, wobbly legs. Truth be told…I was CONCERNED for my safety. This was STUPID I said, I was beginning to get angry at the course, at the course directors and anyone else I could point a finger at. This wasn’t a run, if I wanted to hike and rock climb I would have done just that; all I wanted to do was RUN!
We made it down the side of the bluff in one piece. I told Stan I had to sit, as that took everything that was left within me out. The tank was empty, I had nothing more to give to this race, it had officially beaten me. As I sat upon the rock texting Amy & Eric that I had stayed alive and made it down the bluff, I told them I had nothing more left. I knew I wouldn’t be able to make it down it for a fifth time & to even try would be irresponsible of me. At this time I was truly thinking about nothing more than making it the 1.5 miles to Shorteys without a rolled or broken ankle and hell let’s be honest, my life, lol. I laugh, but those were the thoughts going through my head as I knew my physical condition.
As I stumbled into Shorteys Aid Station at 69.8 miles, I knew this was it, I was done. I had experienced for the first time in my life, true & complete physical exhaustion. The course had officially beaten me. As I sat there talking to the volunteers and telling them I was going to drop down to the 50 mile race and bow out out of the 100. While there, we spoke to another racer who had his shoe off and nursing a hurt achilles. After speaking with this guy, who had run 200 milers, 135’s & a 120 the month prior said this was without a doubt the hardest course he’s ever encountered; it made the lump just a little easier to swallow.
We made our way back to the Start/Finish to make the official drop down and end my race.
The experience I had here was one like I’ve never encountered before. I pushed through so many mental battles through the course of 69.8 miles and 25hrs. Those lows/highs, peaks/valleys were amazing to go through and come out on top. At the end of the day my body just had nothing more to give physically. As I said, it’s the first time experiencing complete and total physical exhaustion.
Having my body beaten to a place I could no longer go forward versus giving up mentally, well…that’s one I can live with!
Now it’s time to Rest, Recover & just take it easy before getting back after marathon training for the upcoming marathons I have this year.